The Naked Unicyclist: Unicycling North and South America.
Vignettes of Vulnerability, Generosity, Overcoming Adversity, and So Forth!
(formerly One Wheel, Two Continents: Unicycling North and South America) will be a published book by yours truly, sometime next year. It will contain information pertinent to unicyclists, and human beings in general. Here is one small excerpt:
Getting home. I reached the St. Louis Arch. For
the past couple hours, my body had been running on adrenaline without
food or water. After riding through downtown and reaching Delmar
Boulevard, I realized I can stop in the “Delmar Loop,” a St. Louis gem.
I stopped at Fitz, as in the root beer. It’s $2 for bottomless
rootbeers, so naturally I have 9. I wolfed down a hummus platter, chit
chatted with curious people, and paid my check. The bartender was
impressed – either at my speed of consumption, or maybe the unicycle
trip. When I went to mount the uni, I quickly realized this all may not
have been the brightest idea, since my stomach was bursting. I felt a
little bit like I was going to throw up.
I made it about 9 miles. I pulled over, knowing what was next. I threw up all over a planter. And one of my shoes. Feeling infinitely better, the same way when I get too drunk, I finish the final 5 miles home, making the grand total for the day 129.4 miles, a new personal record.
One of the great things about riding cross-country as a male is getting to pee on so many interesting things!
Bridges, rivers, monuments! I once peed on a plane hangar. I should
clarify that I try not to pee ON those things, just in sight of them.
On one occasion, when I was younger my brother and I peed off either side of a cliff, having just rock climbed to the top. I said to him, “Wouldn’t it be nice to pee with this kind of scenery every time!”
“Record of One.”
The working title of my future short documentary.